Isaiah 40:3-5 says,
“A voice of one calling: ‘In the wilderness prepare the way for the LORD; make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain. And the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all people will see it together. For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.’”
In January of this year, I asked God this question, “Lord, what do you have for me in this season of my life?” and through that verse, I felt as though He was telling me that He was going to be making a path in the wilderness/desert of my heart. I remember thinking back then a couple things:
“Woah was that actually you God?” and “Cool, nice. Not sure what that means but sounds good.” Writing it down in my journal, I quickly forgot about it within the passing days.
As humans, we are so quick to forget what the LORD has spoken over us. It wasn’t until I had spent the following months often frustrated and confused about the pain I was experiencing in my life that I was reminded of what the LORD spoke to me. He did this through a dream a few months later, where I found myself wandering in a wasteland searching for something.
The details of the dream aren’t entirely important for this blog, but once I realized that He was using it as a means of reminding me of what He originally spoke over me back in January, everything I was walking through suddenly made sense.
You see – He was rooting out lies that I had internalized in my heart/mind for a very long time—lies that I have believed since I was a young girl. And although necessary, this is a very painful process because the things He was removing had become so engrained into who I was, that I had let them attach to my identity.
Lies like –
“You’re a burden to the people around you when you show up broken.”
“You’re intimidating.”
“Everyone would be better off if you never showed up.”
“There is no space for you at the table.”
“Your voice has no meaning.”
Just to name a few.
Let’s be honest, these are words coming straight from the pit of hell.
A couple months ago, these were lies that were being thrown at me all at once. Suddenly, I was a little girl again in survival mode, looking for a way out in the dark and all I knew how to do was call on the name of the Lord, asking for Him to come find me.
You see, these lies became internalized on my identity because I had spent so much time suppressing them. So, when something came up (even minor) that touched these insecurities, they felt crippling because they were latched onto something that was only ever meant to be a space consecrated for the LORD. My heart. My identity.
God was undoing the trash I let fill me for so long.
He was clearing a path in the wilderness. He was making streams in the wasteland.
Friends, this fight is real. And I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that everything in my life is peaches and cream right now since this revelation – because they’re not. Things have been hard recently. Life just keep moving whether you want it to or not.
But as the Lord continues to refine me and who I am, I have realized HIS truth about me is a solid ground that I get to stand on with confidence, even when I am in the middle of a storm.
Thanks for reading and as always, please reach out if you need anything. Love you guys!
